Sometimes we're so busy in ministry and so deeply dependant on one another to get our jobs done that we think we can't afford to ask probing questions and the people we lead don't think they can be honest. I say that's a steaming pile of crap.
For one thing, it's a cop out. For another thing your team will cycle fast and you can kiss any sense of real, genuine community good bye.
If you think you can't ask a probing question because the truth may be painful or too disruptive then you DEFINITELY should ask that probing question.
If your team members are holding back because they don't feel they can be honest or because they are too public to be honest then they're close to droping out or a blowing up.
Let's practice.
Me: Hey man, you going to be able to help out next week.
You: Sure, I guess. I mean I'm pretty sure.
Me: Pretty sure, what gives? You're Facebook updates and your face are both telling me your not in a good place.
You: Nothing. I'll be there.
Me: What are you trying not to tell me?
You: Well, since you asked I fell off the wagon pretty bad this weekend. I realized it had been a year since, well, you know...
Me: Hey, let's go get some coffee and talk. That stuff next week will work itself out, but right now I want to know what's going on in your head.
You: No, I can do that stuff next week if you need me to, really.
Me: We're so past that now, let's focus on what matters here. I totally meant to call you this weekend. I can't believe I didn't. The main thing here isn't next week, it's whether your going to get past last weekend and refocus on Christ. Nothing's more important and I have nothing better to do.
There's no magic formula. There's nothing but the time it is going to take to help your brother in Christ reconnect with the perfect life of Christ that is present in them. They just put up a wall and you get to help them take it down. If you don't ask the question the first time, it will get harder and hard to ask it later. If they aren't honest the first time it will get harder and harder to be honest later.
Are you making it easy for people to be honest with you? i find it helps if I am not pretending to be perfect myself.



