The Uncool Offering Envelope

Pre-printed, personalized, church offering envelopes (PPPOEs) don't get ridiculed enough.

These silly little envelopes can make the coolest church look lame.  They slow down contributions entry.  They offend the not-so-dearly departed.  They make the communications department interact with the accounting department when a change is needed.  Those two departments should never meet, at least, not alone.

Let me state as a matter of opinion that a church's coolness is enhanced by whether and how it uses PPPOEs

1. Coolness Killer = Dear 1st time giver, your personal, numbered envelopes will arrive next week.  Death or excommunication will take you off the list.
2. Coolness Handicap =  Personalized, numbered envelopes are available upon request.  Generic envelopes are in the seats.
3. Coolness Neutral = We have generic envelopes at the info center in the lobby.
4. Coolness² = Never seen 'em, don't have 'em.  Try the church down the road. 

Somewhere there is a church so ultra cool that no PPPOE has ever been printed or mailed.  Where are you oh fabled church?  Oh, wait, that awesome church does exist.  It was my former church (http://www.chaseoaks.org).  How I miss the carefree days when we just raised our eyebrows quizically when another church would ask us how we handled our PPPOEs.

I've seen some churches make great use of PPPOEs.  I've also seen some pretty nifty pocket protectors.

True confession I'm responsible for putting thousands of people on PPPOE mailing lists. My mansion in heaven is probably the uncoolest color they have available.

PS.  I know all the arguments for PPPOEs.  I don't care.  They aren't cool.  If your church isn't trying to be cool then you get cool points for that, but having PPPOEs probably takes away those cool points.

PPS. I'm warning you not to get all worked up and try to get rid of pre-printed, personalized offering envelopes.  Start with something like the organ or the hymnal or the choir robes.  Trust me, they'll be easier to get rid of than the founding member's PPPOE.

Comments

[Robin Arnold]

At the risk of getting myself in deep yogurt, I PERSONALLY think they are stupid and a waste of time and documentation space. Especially if you don't have the software to record contributions in the first place. And, we could be saving $176 bucks a month. To say nothing of the folks that actually mail them in, inside a big envelope...all that postage, extra paper, and paper cuts. EFT people! Step into the new millenium. Giving envelopes are so pre boomer. We could and should be cooler now.

[guy]

I say "Uncool" is the new cool!!! Keep the envelopes forever!!

[Donnie]

Too many churches try way too hard to be the cool church. I don't think putting energy into being "the cool church" does anything to advance the cause of Christ.

[Matthew Irvine]

We got rid of ours last year, mostly because the accounting people only saw a handful of people actually use them, and the contributions of those barely paid the costs of mailing them to the whole congregation. (Maybe a small exaggeration.)

One of our people caught me in the hallway to complain about us getting rid of them, and I pointed him to a big stack of generic ones. He said he was thinking about leaving the church. Thankfully one of the ladies with tact stepped in and rescued me... I was about to flip to "churches" in the yellow pages.

[Jeff Brooks]

Why do you give a rat's ass about being cool? You are supposed to be the Bride of Christ, dispensing the Body and Blood of the Lord, spreading God's Love and Grace around the world. Cool? It shouldn't even be on the map. It's like saying the US Army should smell good. Who cares?

[Robin Arnold]

I don't actually care about being cool at all. I do care about work load and best practices for recording contributions. Envelopes don't help this church administrator unless it's cash. All other uses are vanity and theory. I doubt Jesus used an envelope.